Man, I feel like babbling at length about the books I've been reading lately! I've been on kinda a reading kick.

( Cut because you don't really want me not to cut when talking about books, believe me )

It's always nice to know that no matter how bad my mood is, my family can always make it worse! It's a skill, really.

Dear plus size clothing companies,

Thank you for your concern. I know you've heard the rumors that wearing clothing made of anything but polyester will cause anyone weighing over 150 pounds to spontaneously fall over screaming "I'M MELTING I'M MELTING AUGHurgleglub", and I know you just want to do the right thing.

Unfortunately, you've kinda got it reversed. See, in summer in Los Angeles, I am so not wearing anything that traps the heat against my body the way your cheapass polyester does. I probably won't literally melt, but let's not take the chance, okay? At this point, however, I'm wistfully considering going naked and parking myself in front of every single clothing store I can find until someone makes me some decent clothes to make me go away.

Love,
Me

You know, I know there are people who are completely in tune with their bodies. Is it, like, possible to be the exact opposite?

My thoughts over the past day or two:
Me: Huh, am I sick? Nah, can't be. I haven't had any symptoms! I'm just tired.
Me: ...Wait. I kept thinking my throat must be dry because it hurt, despite the fact that I'd drunk more liquids to fix that than I normally do in two
Me: And I slept in to a sane hour instead of waking at four like I do half the time, but I've still been exhausted today
Me: And I've been sneezing and coughing to the point where two other people commented on it. And it's been two days since Father's Day so it's probably not still the smoke.
Me: ...And I threw up yesterday
Me: HOW THE HELL DO YOU MISS THROWING UP AND NOT ASSOCIATE IT WITH BEING SICK?
Me: ...Natural talent? IT WAS VERY MILD
Me: orz

i r smrt

AUGH MY ENTIRE WEEK HAS BEEN THE LIVING EMBODIMENT OF MURPHY'S LAW

That is all.

I just found out that my very conservative, Christian brother simultaneously manages to believe in Christianity and believes that basically all religions, including Christianity, were founded by con artists. My family's logic is sometimes amazing.

...I should never, ever shop at Amazon in a shitty mood. Even with a $100 gift certificate that I'd never used, I still managed to spend too much money. On the plus side, once it arrives I'll be too busy bookgasming to be in a bad mood!

In other news, my dad's dog has apparently been humping foxtails, in addition to getting them stuck between his toes. Man I'm glad I'm not the one paying his vet bills. He had to stay at the vet's overnight because the one between his toes had gotten deep (and infected) enough that they had to surgically remove it. He's currently limping around with one heavily bandaged leg being incredibly clingy and pathetic. ...When he isn't trying to chase squirrels despite the fact he's limping heavily, keeps bumping into things due to the cone collar, and is doped up on painkillers. This is not a dog who learns.

You can always tell how restless I am by the number of books I'm reading.

Six books simultaneously means I really kinda want to go out and do something, but I don't know what.

Either that, or I feel like the really bizarre crossovers I get in my head from reading David Weber, David Eddings, In Search of Stupidity, Greek Fire Poison Arrows and Scorpion Bombs, Warlord by Jennifer Fallon, and Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson simultaneously. Switching each time I get up to go to the bathroom or get something to drink keeps things interesting!

So I was thinking about why I wasn't real thrilled with Brandon Sanderson's new book last night! Because I said it was weak, but there was something else about it that turned me off and I wasn't sure what it was. And thinking about it more, it has more to do with the way he handled religion in that book than anything else.

( Cut for my thoughts on yaoi. If by yaoi I mean organized religion and deifying people )

I finished Brandon Sanderson's new book today! And it's weird, because usually I greatly enjoy his books. (I'm a hooker for politics and plot twists and worldbuilding, including weird magic systems, and that's what he's strong at.) But for some reason this one feels...not bad so much as weak. The magic system feels like a gimmick as much as part of the plot, the politics are predictable, the characters are bleh (to be fair, I've never considered characters to be his strong point), and I anticipated about half the major plot twists after a certain point. I hate it when authors I enjoy leave me vastly meh about their new books.

My subconscious decided it would be awesome if I dreamt about what would have happened if the Embryon arrived in a group in our world! By the time the dream diverted, the Embryon had had some poor fools try to experiment on them to see if they were AIs, stolen a Hummer to escape, occupied an empty house to rest, been followed by the cops to the house, escaped by stealing a couple cop cars, and somehow ended up split up underneath various waterfalls inhabited by killer water sprites. Which they mostly ate, although Serph's ended up with a crush on him.

Unfortunately, the dream then diverted to someone's very serious tragic past involving a piano recital cut short by too much audience applause too early, and so I have no idea what happened next. Although somehow the idea of the Embryon joining the mer kingdom amuses the hell out of me.

So apparently tetanus shots are not recommended for people with depressed immune systems, as they tend to make them sick. Like. Say. People who're going to the doctor SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE they spent the entire winter catching different colds and are tired all the time. You'd think that the doctor would have mentioned that!

augh

(To be fair, I've been hiking up and down the canyon by me that's lined with cactus with freshly sprouted spines and various bits of trashed metal crap that some asshole left there a fair amount lately, so I'd probably have gotten the shot anyway. Being a little sick is preferable to tetanus! But I'd have kinda appreciated the warning.)

Dear universe:

Judging by the way my day's been going, I'm expecting my computer to spontaneously implode, my cat to get diarrhea, and me to come down with a new crossbreed of Ebola and swine flu any day now. I don't suppose I could bribe you with homemade chocolate chip cookies? Or porn. Or homemade chocolate chip cookie porn.

No love,
Me

Dear you:

You're still doomed.

Love,
The universe

Randomly, the thing I love most about DDS?

The fact that they managed to give Serph such a strong personality from subtle facial expressions and the very occasional dialogue choice.

Although I have to admit the fact that they're all demon cannibal reincarnated AIs comes pretty close! XD

Man, Suikoden Tierkreis has taken the whole "everyone's gay for the hero!" theme of the Suikoden series and brought it to whole new levels. ( Cut for mild implied spoilers spoilers ) And Jale. Just. Jale. The whole "I silently understand you and will support you in whatever you do no matter what" schtick never fails to amuse me. And...I'm probably a horrible person for shipping Cougar/Hero, but details! Cougar, if you don't know, is a large furry beastman. Who is very very gay for the Hero, just like everyone else.

Forget having three wives. I'm fairly sure that if the hero really wanted to, he could convince the entire castle to have an orgy with him at the center.

I'm still kind of sad about the lack of runes, Viki, and Jeane though. The politics are still very Suikoden-ish, but it doesn't feel quite like a Suikoden game without them.

So randomly, I was reading some talk on Beta colony here that reminded me of something that I'd always meant to do a long essay on when I played Cordelia, but never got around to it. I haven't reread the books all that lately, so please feel free to correct any factual errors.

( Cordelia, sanity, and Beta Colony )

In completely other news, being sick is giving me the most awesome dreams.

The training of my cat as a neck pillow is going along well! At the moment, he's draped across both my shoulders and the chair, making a decent headrest and for once not adding to the pressure on my chest. Although the purring directly into my ears is a little distracting. As is the tail across my windpipe. Not that I think my cat would deliberately strangle me before I missed two meals feeding him, but you know. Details.

The nice thing about being sick as a dog and staying in bed all day is stumbling across gems like this. NSFW but also hilarious. Although I will be a sad person if there are no sparkly penis jokes in it.

In light of the start of allergy season, I would just like to remind everyone that that constant runny nose you're having is the sensation of thousands of plants bukkakeing in your nostrils.

I just had an interesting argument with my father about intelligent design vs. evolution. (Mostly because I am incapable of sitting and listening to my brother say that "Oh, evolution is a theory and science defines theories as something not proven." Which. AUGH jesus fucking christ people RESEARCH. This is a mistake that gets very tiresome to me. No one has any complaints about the theory of relativity or the theory of gravity do they?) And although I think I ended up slightly ahead by the time we got home (at least he'd resorted to calling me close-minded rather than, you know, answering my questions which is generally a sign of success!), he did end up defining intelligent design as purely this: The speculation that there is a plan behind evolution.

( Me working through my response to this )

And I am crashing so hard now that I have no idea whether what I just said makes any sense whatsoever. Yay bed.